Lulu Goes to the Hospital

Today I had Lulu, one of my autoharps blessed. It was prayed over by Fr. S. and sprinkled with blessed water. Me, too.

I have a ministry of singing and playing for folks in nursing homes and hospice. Today I was going to visit a man who had been hit by a car while riding his bike. He is a chaplain for the hospice where I volunteer and has been in ICU for five weeks now. He is very seriously injured and recovery is taking many twists and turns. But I believe he will make it, and when he is well, he will comfort others with the comfort he has received from the Lord. He will have a new understanding of what hospice patients experience - God is most economical and wastes nothing!

This is Lulu. I bought her cheap and dirty, cleaned her up, added new strings and custom luthier chord bars. She plays in the key of C only and is tuned to 432 hz., considered to be the healing tuning. She is my primary therapy harp.

Chaplain H. asked for us to play hymns, so we brought Lulu and a beautiful selection of songs and sang to him. It was appreciated by all; even a nurse who heard us and stopped by to listen.

I am blessed to be a blessing!

Farewell to Summer

It's been a long, hot summer. We've been drenched in sunshine and mosquitoes, but very little rain - just enough to keep our lawns green and glorious. Fall has started out warm, but that may change quickly.

It's always a bit of a shock when we come back from our late summer vacation to fully realize summer is essentially over. Children are back in school, stores are set up with Halloween paraphernalia and warm winter clothing; snow blowers replace lawn mowers. What seemed like endless fun in the sun just a few days ago has come to an end.

We see less and less of the female doves and hummingbirds. They are either already gone or packing their little bags for their trek to warmer climes. I'll miss them, although the male doves usually hang around to hold on to their territory, knowing their Mrs. will come back in the spring. They also don't want to miss our well stocked feeding tray.

I'm holding on as tight as I can to the warm nights out on my deck. This year, I've added little colored globe solar lights to our pergola, blue icicle lights and a floor lamp. My deck is cozy and cheerful, and I can wrap up in a blankie and read out there till late at night.

So we'll slowly begin the winterizing of our home; the deck nights will decrease and I'll have to move back inside when hubby battens down the hatches for the long season of cold and dark. But it doesn't last long and I'll keep that promise of spring in my heart and be content waiting.

And I'm not taking down my lights!

Cherokee Legend of Two Wolves

There is a very profound Cherokee legend which tells a story of two wolves. One is evil, and one is good. The story goes like this:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.” 

Profound, indeed!

Leroy Brown is Moving House!

Leroy Brown has a new hutch! I'll snap a pic when it's finished. Hubby already has plans to enforce and enlarge the existing structure to keep him cozy and give him more room to dance. I still have not mastered picking up and putting down. My arms are a bleeding, dripping mess with criss-cross scratches. Someone may mistake me for a cutter - blood on my shirt, computer, towel. I do what the photos show, but he twists and turns and is much stronger than he looks. Once the hutch is up and functional, I may not pick him up for a while and give him more time to get used to me. For now, though, I have to get him outside in his play yard several times each day for sun and exercise.

My visit with Fr. S. went very well. He is such a good pastor: kind, gentle and understanding. He encouraged me to be true to who I am, live my faith, and leave others to God. Great advice. Too often I try to "fix" things, even when no one is asking. The essence of codependency, I guess.

I'm really trying to take back my life after having given it away for far too long. Never knew how to live. My home was so dysfunctional growing up, filled with depressed, sad and angry parents. I had to get out, but no one gave me any support or tools to do so except to marry out of it. So I did ... at 18. I don't have to say that it was a disaster! A 14 year disaster.

Update:  Cover Leroy with a towel, pick him up and swaddle him. Keeps those thumpers contained.

Meet Leroy Brown

Leroy Brown came to live with us today. He is a three month old Holland Mini Lop. It's hard to see from the photos, but his eyes are dark blue. The black spots vary in size and follow down his spine. He is truly lovely. He is very sweet, but a bit skittish. I held him a good bit and he laid calmly on my chest. I kept the dog on a leash, but let her smell him in his cage. She seemed fine, but then snarled. I will keep them separated by crates, doors, whatever it takes. But I will let her be around when I'm holding Leroy so she can get used to MaMa' having a new baby. I hope he will be happy with us.

On another front, I'm meeting with Fr. S tomorrow. I'm really struggling to accept the practices of the church. While they are lovely, they seem to me to have no scriptural basis; they fall under Tradition, something I have always eschewed. I need to discuss this, especially the discomfort I feel when hubby is with me and I really want to light a candle or venerate an icon. He would not think of stopping me, but I feel his ever-so-slight disapproval. There are other issues as well, but better left unsaid.

Sunset on the Bay

My daughter took these two photos on a cell phone camera, just minutes apart, as the sun is setting  across the bay. Amazing how the changing sun colored the clouds and water!

Movin' On

Feeling melancholy, but moving on. I'm back home, safe and sound, but miss The Happiest Seaside Town in America. Island lifestyle compels me to return each year, sometimes more than once.

But something just caught my eye. The word "melancholy" contains the word "holy." Qwinkydink? Maybe not. The Webster definition of melancholy is "sad and pensive." That's definitely me. Webster defines "holy" as connected to God or religion. That's me, too, because that is His view of me.

So I may be sad and pensive for a while, but I'm connected to my Jesus. He knows me, understands my every thought. He will lead me through the narrows and bring me out on that wide, glorious path.

Shalom to us all.

"My Immortal," or "To Be Mother, Wife, Daughter of An Alcoholic"

My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
Ah, me... ah, me... ah...

Written by Ben Moody, David Hodges, Amy Lee • Copyright © Reservoir One Music

I Want to Break Free

Freddie said it best;
     God knows best:

I want to break free
I want to break free
I want to break free from your lies
You're so self satisfied
I don't need you
I've got to break free
God knows,
God knows I want to break free

God knows, I do not want to go back. This is my home - the only place I've ever felt free and happy. Of course, I know those aren't the requirements for our life in Christ, but dang! I'm so tired of my "roles." I don't want to be wife, mother, grandmother.

But the inner voice says, "Be care what you wish for."

Don't Mess With a Black Swan

A black swan waddling up to tell me to get lost!

This guy was annoyed that I was too close to him and his mate.
He puffed his feathers, hissed and bit the fencing to get his point across.

Ducks resting in Eel Creek

#1 Happiest Seaside Town in America

#1 Happiest Seaside Town in America - Coastal Living 2014

Of course, we've known this for decades. I'm in my favorite home with my favorite four-legged creature beside me, watching people bike past my door on their way to the beach or around the island. The wildlife loop on the refuge is open and early in the morning, we can see lots of birds,  white tail and sika deer, gray squirrels, white egrets, white, blue and green herons, the famous ponies, turtles, and if we're really lucky, otters. And mosquitoes ... always the mosquitoes.

Psalm 146:5-6

How blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God, 

who made heaven and earth, the sea and all that is in them; who keeps faith forever;

Word for Me - September 3

Micah 7New King James Version (NKJV) 
  

1. Woe is me! For I am like those who gather summer fruits, Like those who glean vintage grapes; There is no cluster to eat of the first-ripe fruit which my soul desires.
2. The faithful man has perished from the earth, And there is no one upright among men. They all lie in wait for blood; Every man hunts his brother with a net.
3. That they may successfully do evil with both hands— The prince asks for gifts, The judge seeks a bribe, And the great man utters his evil desire; so they scheme together.
4. The best of them is like a brier; the most upright is sharper than a thorn hedge; the day of your watchman and your punishment comes; now shall be their perplexity.
5. Do not trust in a friend; do not put your confidence in a companion; guard the doors of your mouth from her who lies in your bosom.
6. For son dishonors father, daughter rises against her mother, daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; a man’s enemies are the men of his own household.
7. Therefore I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.

This passage in Micah fairly describes the present state of our republic: much evil and treachery. Sometimes it's found within families, friendships, even churches - the Powers That Shouldn't Be - they're everywhere, in every walk of life. We resist where we can, occasionally triumphing, but not without excessive hand-wringing.

What shall we do when we see such deterioration all around us? Jesus tells us through a parable in Luke 19:13 tells us to 'occupy until I come.' Be still and know that He is God. Live your life in full view of God's loving watchfulness. Look to Him, wait for Him - God will hear us when we call.

Here Am I

Another jumble of words to fill the blogosphere. But it's mine, so I'll carry on for a while. I've recently acquired a few new toys and I want this space to record our progress together.

I also want to share the encouragement spoken to me from the Word of the Lord. There has been much as I wait before Him. And while I am deeply moved when the Holy Spirit makes God's Word come alive, I know it is not 'private interpretation,' as stated in II Peter - it's for all of us - the Body of Christ.

Psalm 95

Come, let us bow down in worship,

let us kneel before the Lord our Maker;

for he is our God

and we are the people of his pasture,

the flock under his care.

Long ago, I learned this Psalm set to a lovely tune. I've been singing it for several days, experiencing joy from knowing the simple fact that we are His sheep and He will care for us and provide pasture. And what is pasture? A place of nourishment, safety and protection, rest, all under the watchfulness of the Good Shepherd himself, Jesus.